Trusting God or Trust In God?

Recently I took my daughter for a massage. She had never had a massage. Had never seen a massage. Had no concept of what a massage was. This might as well be some ancient Tibetan Torture Treatment, for all she knew.

She was TERRIFIED. Absolutely, unashamedly, scared to death. I thought I was going to have to drag her to the car, kicking and screaming.

For a massage.

Thankfully, we worked through it. I was able to sit with her on my lap, talk to her about her fear, and tell her that I was going to be with her through it all. I would not leave her for one moment. And, even though she didn’t understand what was about to happen to her, she was going to have to trust me. Trust that her mommy loves her, and only wants what’s best for her.

True, sometimes Mommy takes you to the doctor, and it hurts.

True, sometimes Mommy takes you to the dentist, and it hurts.

True, sometimes Mommy pours hydrogen peroxide on an ouchie and it burns like fire.

But Mommy does all these things because she loves you and wants what’s best for you. You may not see it, but you have to trust in Mommy, and trust in my love for you. Always. Even when it hurts.

So says God to me.

You may not understand why you have to go through this hard thing. But you have to trust in me. Even if you don’t trust me right now, because I made you go through that other hard thing, and you’re scared this is going to be like THAT. You’re going to have to trust that I love you, and I only want what’s best for you. And this is only going to hurt for a little while, and then it will be all better.

And no matter what I will be right there, holding your hand. I won’t ever leave you, or forsake you. My child. Trust In Me. Even if you don’t trust me right now. Trust IN Me. In Who I AM. Unchanging. Forever. Always Everlasting Love.

At then end of all the hurts and splinters and ouchies, there’s this amazing beautiful thing…like an everlasting massage. Well, better, but I can’t explain it right now, because you’ve never experienced anything this sweet. So I’m going to call it Heaven. And you can picture the best massage ever. And Unicorns.

So, I’m paraphrasing. But you get the idea. I hope there’s an idea somewhere in this muddled midnight rant.


2 responses to “Trusting God or Trust In God?

  1. I stumbled on your blog and just have a couple questions. Is it possible that your daughter could be on colloidal silver instead of antibiotics for fewer side effects? Also, have you ever supplemented with enzymes? Added in fermented foods? With everything we are learning about the gut brain barrier, your daughters condition is no surprise. I can’t imagine how difficult this journey it’s have been , and still is for you! As a mom of children who are very sensitive to foods and prescriptions, my concern would be that the daily dose she takes on antibiotic would keep any friendly bacteria away as well. Please know these are only questions, not criticism. Thanks for sharing your story!

    • Hi Britt,
      Thank you for your comment! I’m not sure which posts you stumbled upon, but to clarify, we are one of the few PANDAS families that does NOT do daily anaphylactic antibiotics, even though that is what the NIMH said is their “best guess” for treating PANDAS, as well as IVIG treatments. We only use antibiotics when absolutely necessary, to kill an active infection (like an active case of strep throat, and Lyme infection with bulls eye.) Prior to PANDAS, we ate a whole foods diet, I ground my own wheat, made my own breads and treats from scratch, raised chickens and had our own free range eggs, and she had only had a few illnesses in her life that actually needed antibiotics. Since PANDAS, we use Donkey Milk to modulate the immune system, and drink Kombucha for probiotics, and eat a strict Paleo diet. Unfortunately, many fermented foods also contain strep strains (like yogurt and kefir), which can trigger PANDAS flares. We do use Colloidal Silver for Ear Infections with great success, and for external injuries, but we do not take it internally. It can build up in your system and is impossible to chelate once this happens. Many kids with PANDAS are very susceptible to heavy metals and their bodies have difficulty detoxing them. Thank you for taking time to comment, and for your concern. I hope you can take a few moments to read more of our story. God Bless!

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